Bumps in the Night

Anonymous from Colorado commented that “it's a scary thing to look closely at your dark corners and sweep them out.” I hadn’t really thought about The Experiment like that. It feels more like illuminating what was dark.

One week into The Experiment my dreams became vivid and prolific. I have dreamt three times that I am selling my house – not my real house where I am currently living. These houses are all different and none of them familiar. They are all fixer uppers. One house lingers with me more than the others. This house was two stories and dilapidated…but full of potential. It had six bedrooms and sat on a pretty piece of land. As the new homeowners were moving in, I walked through the house with one of them, and together we counted the number of bedrooms. It was then that I realized I was selling the house for significantly less than it was worth. I told the woman that I was going to have to call some realtors to find out the true value. I could not give it away for so much less than its value.

Last night I had three distinctly separate dreams. Warning: What you are about to read is graphic and twisted and may lead you to believe I am some kind of whacko. I’m not.

The first dream. I was going to the airport with my mother. I realized that I forgot my luggage and all information about our flight time. I looked in a mirror and saw myself. My throat was slit by another friend and written on my neck were the words “The Secret is Joy.” Blood gushed from my neck. We went back home to get my suitcase and I could tell by looking at my bed where I had slept the night before, that I had lost a lot of blood. I thought it was odd that I didn’t feel like I had. We left again and I still did not have my suitcase.

The second dream. I had lost my job and was talking with a group of people. I remember worrying about being able to stay in my home (again the home thing), without an income. I felt something on my arm. I looked down at my arm and there was a tiny cut in my skin. A large mosquito looking insect crawled out of my skin. Someone said “I bet it laid eggs in your arm.” I looked down and there was a row of tiny little bugs filing out of the cut in my arm single file. Then these very large (6”) insects, they were a cross between a praying /mantis and a crab, began to crawl out of my arm, their arms wrapping around my arm and their claws digging in as they pulled themselves out of my body. I could actually feel this sensation, and it hurt. Did I mention my dreams were vivid?
The third dream. Let me just discreetly say it involved an unidentified man getting to know himself, while I gazed on. I then experienced, for the first time ever in dream state, waves of orgasms – over and over again.

Let the reader interpret for themselves (I’m sure you will—be kind, I really am not a whacko), but here’s my take:

The moving from my homes is about change. Leaving the well-worn and dilapidated ways behind, while honoring what I am leaving. In each home dream, I walk through the rooms and admired the home’s potential. Retracting the offer on the table, to ensure it was appropriately valued was about not giving away my precious life where it is not valued.

The horribly graphic throat scene is about finding my voice (opening up my throat) about joy. After all, as the dream clearly states, the Secret really is Joy. I was never concerned about leaving behind my luggage in the dream. It feels as if am leaving some things behind in my real life too, things that should stay behind.

And then there is the bug dream. It just feels to me like a visual representation of purging my psyche of some really nasty and frightening stuff. How ironic that it was part crab and part “praying” mantis. I am literally praying the crab out of me. OK, it was either that…or it was the after affects of the foie gras I had for dinner the night before.

I think Anonymous is right…the dark corners are showing their face; not consciously while I am sitting across from a therapist, but in the darkness of night, while I am trying to get some sleep. Perhaps this an effective way to dispel the dark.

Oh yes, and dream three. Well, that was my reward for making it through the other two.

Lynnie